Shipped

The first shipment of medicine is on its way to our house. (I'm told that normally there is only 1 shipment of medicine per IVF cycle, but we're going to have 2 for financial reasons.) It's all seeming real to me now. I still don't think it will really hit me until Friday morning when I take the first shot. I'm still trying to figure out if I want Mr. to do it, or if I'm going to do it myself. I don't take to needles very well, but maybe I would like having the control. Maybe I would like this to be something Mr. can do for me, so he feels more involved and connected to me throughout this process.

In other news, my face looks like a mountain range. It's gross. I wash my face every morning, night, and sometimes right when I get home from work just for good measure. I can't wait until I don't have to take the BCPs anymore. They make me feel icky. They've also given me cramps and spotting the past couple days. In our IVF info, we were told to call the clinic to let them know if any spotting occurred, but that it was pretty common and nothing to freak out about. Glad to know I'm normal. [I use that term loosely].

I keep telling myself that this works for people. This treatment could actually result in us becoming parents. It's such a bizarre thing for me to come to terms with. I've felt this entire time like this is just a really good story I've heard and that it's not actually our life.

I do think I'm starting to believe it, though, because last night I set my head on Mr.'s shoulder and whispered, "I don't know how to be a mom."

And he said, "I don't think anyone does, but you are going to be an incredible one."

I love him.