Don't fix what isn't broken...

Last month was super frustrating. Beginning fertility treatments can be extremely scary, but also, it's the most hope a couple going through infertility has probably had in a while. At least it was for us. When our first IUI failed last October, it was a major blow. We took off for the weekend in an attempt to run away from everything. What really happened was a major emotional breakdown on the freeway. Needless to say, it took us a while to be able to "get back on the horse."

In January, we met with a homeopathic doctor. He recommended a few herbal and hormonal supplements for our condition. Mr. got put on some male hormone and testosterone drops, and I started taking a supplement called Rubus Idaeus and progesterone. We were eating healthy, exercising, sleeping, taking good care of our bodies, etc. And keeping track of my cycle. Rubus Idaeus is supposed to even out my cycle to 28 days. And it did, shockingly quick. My period started 6 days earlier than normal. We were out of town and I was completely unprepared. But I was thrilled. It meant these supplements were working!

We were on board for IUI #2. (If we do 3 IUIs without success, IVF is our only option.) I took ovulation tests every single day, sometimes 2x a day. Started on day 10 just like the RE recommended. Day 10 came, negative. We expected that. Day 14 came, negative. That was kind of odd, especially for how quickly my cycle evened out. Mr. was headed out of town on days 15-17 so our prayers switched for a few days. We made it through the weekend without a positive test. We were in the clear!

Day 21 came, negative. Day 23, 25, 26, negative. and then we scrapped the ovulation tests. My last period had started 6 days early when we were out of town. It was pretty light, too. And so we ventured into that dangerous, dangerous land of "maybe we're pregnant..."

One test later and we knew that wasn't the case. Frustration hit about 48 hours later. We had done everything! We were on medication to up the sperm count & quality and prime my body for conception. We had been exercising, eating right, and following all the rules and MY body won't even give us the chance to try??

Thus began the biggest funk I've ever been in. Depression hit hard. My body isn't supposed to be the one with the problem. My body is supposed to be the reason we still have a chance in this game. After a few long conversations with my Heavenly Father and at least 3 long cries, I heard "Don't fix what isn't broken." It dawned on me that at the beginning of our marriage, I had taken progesterone pills as birth control. From charting and bloodwork, we know that my body ovulates every single cycle. The only change this cycle was the supplements. I was taking progesterone. Those birth control pills at the beginning of our marriage threw my body off so hard (not to mention my emotions, which also haven't been too great lately).

After talking with Mr. we decided that his supplements are working, so he will continue to use them. Rubus Idaeus has a pretty great track record (41/43 women in the test group conceived after using it for 4 months). So I'll continue taking those to help Mr.'s swimmers as much as possible. And we pick our heads up and psyche up for IUI #2 as soon as my body will allow it.

Testing for IUI #2 started today. Here we go!