IUI #2

Yesterday, we did our 2nd IUI. It was completely different from the first time. For that, I'm really grateful. This one came with its own set of issues, though. I was reminded, again, just how steep this uphill battle is.

I took the entire day off of work to relax my body as much as possible. I slept in, took a long hot shower, spent an entire hour getting ready for the day, and worked on a little surprise for the Mr. He came home around 11, we left for the clinic around 11:30. We had to make a quick stop to pick up that little surprise, which also happens to be Lift Your Love #1 and will be posted soon. :) I went inside, Mr. pounded an energy drink in the car. (It supposedly helps with sperm motility...and it makes Mr. feel manly, so it's become a tradition.)

Driving up to the clinic, we held hands the entire way. We felt so united for this procedure. We were a team. It had been 6 months since we'd made the drive to the clinic. It's funny how time marches on.

When we arrived, I sat down in the waiting room, and Mr. went back. 15 minutes passed. 30 minutes. 45 minutes. I hate not being able to help him or even know what's going on or if he needs me. (For IUI #1, I went back with Mr. and it only resulted in unnecessary stress.)

Just when I started to panic, Mr. came through the waiting room door. He grabbed my hand and off we went to lunch while the clinic washed and prepped the sample. As soon as we got in the car, I could tell it wasn't good.

"There wasn't very much."
"That was so hard. I hate doing that."

I completely lost it. I was terrified, angry, and confused. We had fasted to be able to do this today! We drove around for a while looking for a place to eat. Mr. probably suggested 15 different restaurants before just picking one for me. I was being a punk. I had already given up on this treatment, and we hadn't even done it yet. (Looking back, I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that it was 2pm and I hadn't eaten anything at all. I think I'm going to make a treatment day to-do list so this doesn't happen again. Emotions will be running crazy anyway, no need to fuel the fire with low blood sugar.)

Mr. walked me inside. I ordered a bowl of clam chowder and finally exhaled. Mr. grabbed my hand and we slowly but surely got back on the same page. By the time lunch was over, the mood had completely changed.

We walked to the car, Mr. gave me a whole-body kiss, you know, the ones where he completely scoops you up and makes you feel like you're the only two people in the world.

And then he winked at me and said, "Let's do this."

For how powerful we felt, we should have been wearing football pads and eye-black. Love and unity in a marriage is an impressive combination.

We went back to the clinic, and sure enough, the sample was about 2ml less than Mr.'s normal. BUT, the motility and viscocity were exactly the same as last time. A "normal" sample of someone without male-factor infertility has about 40 million. We had about 4.7 million to work with. Post-wash/prep, we had exactly 1.0 million of viable sperm.

Shockingly enough, I felt completely calm and confident going in to the exam room. We were together. We were in love. We were sealed for eternity. No matter what, I have the love of my life forever. It hit me hard, there in the exam room, just how blessed we really are.

Mr. rubbed my back until the nurse practitioner came in. She did the procedure and left all in the space of about 3 minutes. I laid down and Mr. gave me a priesthood blessing. I have absolutely no idea how people go through this trial without the gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The priesthood power here on earth is such a strength and a comfort to me, and any worthy man in the church can hold it, which means my husband has the power to give me blessings directly from my Heavenly Father.

We walked out to the car with the rest of the day ahead of us. We went shopping at a nearby mall, out to dinner, and cuddled and laughed and made out all the way down the escalator. We escaped the world together for just a day. During treatments like these, for us, it's important to remember that this is a very hard thing we are doing. The most important thing we can do is strengthen our marriage and take care of each other. If we are not united, we have already lost.

14 days from now, we'll know if IUI #3 will be happening or if we got lucky!