I never liked birth control. I went all wonky when I first started taking it right after we got married. (wonky, in this case, means completely insane). Poor Mr.
Today, I'm feeling particularly ugly. Zits have taken over both cheeks, and down my neck. One large one has set up camp smack dab in the middle of my forehead. I washed my face extra good yesterday and lightly lotioned it to keep it from being too dry.
I'm regretting the lotion.
I really am not complaining, though. I'm just grateful to see some signs that the chemicals pumping through my body are actually doing something!
Never thought I'd be grateful for acne. :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
When it Rains it Pours
I mentioned in this post how miracles happened to allow us to move forward with IVF so much sooner than we had originally planned. It seemed like everything had just come together at the right time for us. We were humbled, grateful, and shocked. And we remembered that God has a plan for our little family.
We let the dust settle after all the excitement and were able to look back and see even more little details that showed us that God is watching over us.
And then a big detail happened.
Yesterday, we received an envelope with no marks on the outside. Inside was a folded up piece of white printer paper, a post-it note, and $1,000 cash.
The note said: "Hope this helps you reach your goal. We are thinking of you and praying for you. And we know God is mindful of you."
I cried.
And said "Oh my word" over and over again.
This must be a really, really special baby that's coming to our little family!
We let the dust settle after all the excitement and were able to look back and see even more little details that showed us that God is watching over us.
And then a big detail happened.
Yesterday, we received an envelope with no marks on the outside. Inside was a folded up piece of white printer paper, a post-it note, and $1,000 cash.
The note said: "Hope this helps you reach your goal. We are thinking of you and praying for you. And we know God is mindful of you."
I cried.
And said "Oh my word" over and over again.
This must be a really, really special baby that's coming to our little family!
IVF #1 - The Schedule
Our appointment went SO well on Friday! It's surreal to think that this is all happening right now...to US. We walked into the clinic and sat down with the scheduler to go over the plan for the next 2 months. Here are the highlights:
- Pre-natal Vitamins every night with dinner
- June 8 - Birth Control Pill - take with dinner
- June 20 - Lu.pron & Doxy.cycline arrives in mail
- June 25 - Begin 10 units of Lu.pron in the AM
- June 25 - Begin Doxy.cycline twice a day for both me and Mr. - take with food
- June 25 - Begin Baby Asprin
- July 2 - Last day for Birth Control
- July 4 - Last day of Doxy.cycline
- July 8 - Baseline Ultrasound, Shot Class, Blood Draw
- July 9 - Begin Foll.istim in the AM
- July 9 - Begin Meno.pur in the AM
- July 13 - Last day for high impact exercise
- July 14 - Blood Draw
- July 15 - Last day for intercourse
- July 16 - Ultrasound
- July 17 - Ultrasound
- July 18 - Ultrasound
- July 19 - Ci.pro for Mr.
- July 20 - Possible Egg Retreival!
- July 23 - Possible 3-day Transfer
- July 25 - Possible 5-day Transfer
- July 26-27 - Princess Days (<-- REALLY looking forward to these. :) Basically I just can't really do anything for 48 hours. I'm thinkin' pedicure & chick-fliks)
It's humbling to realize, we're on step 2 of 22 for this process. BUT, we are moving forward! The days keep passing by and I keep taking pills. I'm so very excited and just grateful to live in a time where this modern medicine is available to us. Thanks for your support and comments! They really help me stay positive!
Also, battle plan tactic #1 is to only read positive IVF stories, so if you know of any good ones, link me up! There are so many horrible stories out there about failed IVFs, but I have to keep my head up and walk forward with confidence. I need to remember that this really does work for so many people.
Oh, and I should probably mention that we are the proud new owners of a Wii. :) lol.
Oh, and I should probably mention that we are the proud new owners of a Wii. :) lol.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Next Step
The entire idea of having a "plan" is becoming more and more hilarious to me as the days go by. We left the clinic on Wednesday thinking our next appointment to schedule everything out would be on Monday. We were thrilled to have a plan and looked forward to the next step and having an even more solid plan.
We went to Wal.Mart on my lunch break today to pick up a few things and meandered over to the electronics section to drool over the Wii's. We started giggling and decided that we would let it sit until after the scheduling appointment and perhaps buy a Wii then, if we were still that set on getting one. Which would be fine, if our plan had remained in tact. However, right after lunch I got a voicemail from the clinic asking us to come in today instead because the scheduler would be out of town on Monday. So, perhaps we will be buying a Wii tonight.
We're off to plan! I'm going to just approach the plan with a little more leniency. Heaven knows it won't remain exactly as we plan it out today.
Oh, the unknown is a blast. :)
We went to Wal.Mart on my lunch break today to pick up a few things and meandered over to the electronics section to drool over the Wii's. We started giggling and decided that we would let it sit until after the scheduling appointment and perhaps buy a Wii then, if we were still that set on getting one. Which would be fine, if our plan had remained in tact. However, right after lunch I got a voicemail from the clinic asking us to come in today instead because the scheduler would be out of town on Monday. So, perhaps we will be buying a Wii tonight.
We're off to plan! I'm going to just approach the plan with a little more leniency. Heaven knows it won't remain exactly as we plan it out today.
Oh, the unknown is a blast. :)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
IVF & A Doctor Who "Gets It"
Yesterday was incredible. That's the best word I can think of to describe it.
Our appointment wasn't until late afternoon. I spent the morning trying to wrestle our charts away from our old clinic and get them transferred to the new clinic. After figuring out how a fax machine works (people still use those! who knew?!), things settled down quite a bit.
Mr. picked me up from work at about 3:30. The drive to the clinic was quiet, but not for lack of communication. There's a lot that can be said while you're just holding hands.
We arrived at the clinic about 10 minutes early, so I gave Mr. the rest of the paperwork we needed to fill out. After he signed everything and finished all of the random "have you ever been treated for..." questions, we said a prayer, had a nice long kiss, and decided to greet the outside world.
Sometimes I feel like I live in a movie. When we walked through the doors of the clinic "I'm a Believer" was playing over the speakers. How appropriate. :)
We sat in the waiting room for a bit while they processed our paperwork. Mr. watched the television, I stared at the floor. Just thinking. Because our infertility is male-factor, I really haven't had very many tests done on me. I haven't taken any medications for our infertility and I have this terrible fear that although my periods are like clockwork, something is wrong with me. The floor was a good place to stare.
The doctor came and got us and we walked back to his office. He cut to the chase quick. "You know you need IVF w/ ICSI, right?"
"Right."
"Well, all it takes is a sperm, an egg, and a uterus to make a baby. You get all 3 of those together and everyone ends up with a baby."
I laughed. "If only it were that simple."
"It is. You're on cycle day 6, so let's see if we can get your testing done today so you don't have to wait another month before we do this IVF cycle."
And off we went to the ultrasound exam room. He pumped me full of water and poked around my uterus making sure there was no scarring. I was terrified. He kept pointing out little details and I kept asking if that was good or bad. It was always good. No scarring. No cysts. He did point out plenty of healthy follicles. He's not worried about us having good eggs for this procedure. That makes me so grateful.
Mr. rubbed my arm while I was on the exam table. It was kind of fun to have an ultrasound. It made me feel like I belong here in the pregnant world. I've always equated ultrasounds with pregnancy. Now all we have to do is have an ultrasound with a baby in that uterus!
The Dr. did find something. My uterus has a slight septum in it. It's about 5mm deep. The "bad" septums are 30mm deep, so he's really not worried about it. Still, I wish it weren't there. They can cause miscarriage.
Mr. and I went to the back and got blood drawn for the rest of the tests we need before starting this cycle. I'm getting better at giving blood I think. (haha, celebrate the little victories I guess.)
Then, we went back to the front desk where they had all of my birth control pills ready for me. We didn't even have to get a prescription filled! They went over the basic schedule with us.
Right now, we're looking at an Egg Retrieval around July 20th with a 5th day transfer on July 25th.
That means we could find out if we're pregnant on August 5th!
Monday, we have the appointment where we get our formal calendar with all of the medication information and exact dates.
I can't believe this is happening!! We are so excited. :)
Our appointment wasn't until late afternoon. I spent the morning trying to wrestle our charts away from our old clinic and get them transferred to the new clinic. After figuring out how a fax machine works (people still use those! who knew?!), things settled down quite a bit.
Mr. picked me up from work at about 3:30. The drive to the clinic was quiet, but not for lack of communication. There's a lot that can be said while you're just holding hands.
We arrived at the clinic about 10 minutes early, so I gave Mr. the rest of the paperwork we needed to fill out. After he signed everything and finished all of the random "have you ever been treated for..." questions, we said a prayer, had a nice long kiss, and decided to greet the outside world.
Sometimes I feel like I live in a movie. When we walked through the doors of the clinic "I'm a Believer" was playing over the speakers. How appropriate. :)
We sat in the waiting room for a bit while they processed our paperwork. Mr. watched the television, I stared at the floor. Just thinking. Because our infertility is male-factor, I really haven't had very many tests done on me. I haven't taken any medications for our infertility and I have this terrible fear that although my periods are like clockwork, something is wrong with me. The floor was a good place to stare.
The doctor came and got us and we walked back to his office. He cut to the chase quick. "You know you need IVF w/ ICSI, right?"
"Right."
"Well, all it takes is a sperm, an egg, and a uterus to make a baby. You get all 3 of those together and everyone ends up with a baby."
I laughed. "If only it were that simple."
"It is. You're on cycle day 6, so let's see if we can get your testing done today so you don't have to wait another month before we do this IVF cycle."
And off we went to the ultrasound exam room. He pumped me full of water and poked around my uterus making sure there was no scarring. I was terrified. He kept pointing out little details and I kept asking if that was good or bad. It was always good. No scarring. No cysts. He did point out plenty of healthy follicles. He's not worried about us having good eggs for this procedure. That makes me so grateful.
Mr. rubbed my arm while I was on the exam table. It was kind of fun to have an ultrasound. It made me feel like I belong here in the pregnant world. I've always equated ultrasounds with pregnancy. Now all we have to do is have an ultrasound with a baby in that uterus!
The Dr. did find something. My uterus has a slight septum in it. It's about 5mm deep. The "bad" septums are 30mm deep, so he's really not worried about it. Still, I wish it weren't there. They can cause miscarriage.
Mr. and I went to the back and got blood drawn for the rest of the tests we need before starting this cycle. I'm getting better at giving blood I think. (haha, celebrate the little victories I guess.)
Then, we went back to the front desk where they had all of my birth control pills ready for me. We didn't even have to get a prescription filled! They went over the basic schedule with us.
Right now, we're looking at an Egg Retrieval around July 20th with a 5th day transfer on July 25th.
That means we could find out if we're pregnant on August 5th!
Monday, we have the appointment where we get our formal calendar with all of the medication information and exact dates.
I can't believe this is happening!! We are so excited. :)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Low-Down
I don't really know where to start. We were originally planning on meeting with our Dr. on May 27th to start our IVF cycle, but so many things happened and that appointment was cancelled.
Our IUI #3 was cancelled on a Thursday. Friday, we found out about a tax-free medical account available through my work, so we maxed out what we could put in there knowing we'd need every penny for IVF. Saturday, we went to a fundraiser for some friends of ours, who are also trying to save up for this expensive treatment. And that's when everything changed.
Our friends bounded up to us and asked how our IUI had gone. We explained that the Dr. had cancelled it and recommended us for IVF. And they stopped the conversation right there and said, you need to talk to her and pointed to a girl only a few years older than me with thick wavy hair and big blue eyes. Turns out, she was the fundraiser coordinator. She had received an e-mail from a fertility doctor in a clinic right next to our home who was offering anyone participating in the fundraiser 50% off of an IVF cycle.
Our jaws dropped. We waited patiently for the details. Because our regular doctor was going out of town for the summer, we were going to have to change doctors anyway. We planned to just go to another doctor at the same clinic, but our regular clinic is about 45 minutes away from our home. This new clinic is less than 20. This doctor has incredibly impressive success rates over the past 5 years. He has started clinics in Nevada and Idaho and now here in our home town. He is among the top 6 REs in the nation. We are so blessed!
Our consultation with him is this afternoon and I am completely freaking out. I have had 3 meltdowns already without any medications or hormones pulsing through me at all. I am terrified, excited, nervous, anxious, and so grateful.
I feel so strongly that this man is going to help us become parents. He is going to give us the greatest gift we could ever ask for. I can't wait to meet with him, yet at the same time, that nagging little fear in the back of my mind keeps asking "what if this doesn't work? what then?"
The bigger part of me, though, keeps asking "What if this works?! What if it does!?"
Hopefully, this afternoon, we'll have a timeline and more info and a plan! I'll keep you posted.
Our IUI #3 was cancelled on a Thursday. Friday, we found out about a tax-free medical account available through my work, so we maxed out what we could put in there knowing we'd need every penny for IVF. Saturday, we went to a fundraiser for some friends of ours, who are also trying to save up for this expensive treatment. And that's when everything changed.
Our friends bounded up to us and asked how our IUI had gone. We explained that the Dr. had cancelled it and recommended us for IVF. And they stopped the conversation right there and said, you need to talk to her and pointed to a girl only a few years older than me with thick wavy hair and big blue eyes. Turns out, she was the fundraiser coordinator. She had received an e-mail from a fertility doctor in a clinic right next to our home who was offering anyone participating in the fundraiser 50% off of an IVF cycle.
Our jaws dropped. We waited patiently for the details. Because our regular doctor was going out of town for the summer, we were going to have to change doctors anyway. We planned to just go to another doctor at the same clinic, but our regular clinic is about 45 minutes away from our home. This new clinic is less than 20. This doctor has incredibly impressive success rates over the past 5 years. He has started clinics in Nevada and Idaho and now here in our home town. He is among the top 6 REs in the nation. We are so blessed!
Our consultation with him is this afternoon and I am completely freaking out. I have had 3 meltdowns already without any medications or hormones pulsing through me at all. I am terrified, excited, nervous, anxious, and so grateful.
I feel so strongly that this man is going to help us become parents. He is going to give us the greatest gift we could ever ask for. I can't wait to meet with him, yet at the same time, that nagging little fear in the back of my mind keeps asking "what if this doesn't work? what then?"
The bigger part of me, though, keeps asking "What if this works?! What if it does!?"
Hopefully, this afternoon, we'll have a timeline and more info and a plan! I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Life Saver
Today was not a good day. My period started around 10:30 and I was NOT feeling well. I get all sorts of crampy, woozy, nauseous every single time and while YES, it IS a positive thing to be at the start of our first IVF cycle (!! more details on that coming VERY soon !!), I still feel like garbage. I had cried 3 times before 2 in the afternoon. Ah, hormones. Well, throughout all this, I was a real witch to the Mr. I didn't want to call the clinic to schedule blood work because I hate going to the doctor alone and Mr. is headed out of town for a wedding this weekend. I can't go because we couldn't afford 2 plane tickets. I want to get the blood work done, but it's scary and sad to go alone. Cue the waterworks. Well, Mr. called the clinic and double checked which tests I needed to get done and as it turns out, I can wait until next week when Mr. is back in town! Then, an hour later, he showed up at my office with a midol and a hot hands (small heat pads that rule the world.)
I love him.
That doesn't mean that I won't sob all the way home from the airport in a couple hours, but hey, around here emotional stability is not a common occurrence.
I love him.
That doesn't mean that I won't sob all the way home from the airport in a couple hours, but hey, around here emotional stability is not a common occurrence.
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