This is it! Tomorrow is the big day. I feel like we have said that every night before each IUI, doctor's visit, the egg retrieval, and embryo transfer. Mrs. asked me to write about how I am feeling tonight - the night before we find out if we are pregnant from IVF. I am grateful she didn't request I minimize my feelings to one word because that would be impossible.
First, I am more confident than I have ever been throughout our struggle with infertility. For me, the scariest part was finding out if any eggs were fertilized. I was ecstatic when the doctor informed us that eggs had successfully fertilized. I was so relieved to learn that our baby making parts like each other, that my sperm are not as useless as I have been told, and that us creating life is even possible. So regardless of what news we hear tomorrow I am grateful to know that this process can and will happen again in the future.
I am excited. So many things have fallen into place throughout this process it just doesn't make sense for it not to work. The Lord has blessed us with more tender mercies than I could have ever imagined. Miracles occurred throughout this process and I feel so sure that the Lord is with us. Of course, this also causes me to doubt at times too. With how amazing this process has been, looking back on all the blessings we have received, I am not sure what I would think if this were NOT to work. But I am confident we will know what to do next.
I am scared for the possibility of pain. I can't deny that. However, I am much more hopeful and excited to find out if we are going to have a baby. I feel closer than we have ever been. I trust that we have done everything that we are able to do at this time. I know the doctor we have been working with is competent and gifted and is an instrument in the Lord's hand. As out of control as our lives have been the past seven weeks, I know the Lord has directed us every single day. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to making Mrs. a mom. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to being a dad. And we will be one step closer to growing our family however the Lord wants us to. I am going to sleep good tonight!