...if I'm pregnant or not. I, on the other hand, have to wait 2 more days to find out.
This morning was really rough. There's no other way to describe it. I barely got out the door to go to work. I look terrible. I was pale and quiet in the staff meeting and then let my boss in on just how overwhelmed I am with everything going on. He was wonderful about it and transferred two major projects off my plate. I was feeling crampy (still kind of am) and it scared me so bad.
Mr. picked me up and drove me to the clinic for the blood draw. A woman with two kids shared the waiting room with us. I know eventually I will be the mother with two kids sitting in the fertility clinic waiting room hoping for a third, but today it just felt unfair. The blood draw took a couple seconds, tops. The nurse could tell I wasn't myself. She asked how I was feeling and I just said "nervous, and I've been having a lot of cramps." She made me feel a little better when she said, "Oh, that's probably a good thing. It could be implantation." I left the clinic with my hand in Mr.'s.
When we got to the car, he opened my door. Normally, I give him a quick peck on the lips and hop inside to pop his door open for him, but this time as soon as I looked up at him, he scooped me into his arms and just let me cry in the parking lot.
I think it finally hit me just how terrified I am. I need this to work so desperately. I can't imagine it not working. Our little babies were so strong and healthy when they were placed back into me and my uterine lining looked perfect, according to the doctor.
Please stick little babies.
Please. Please. Please.
Your dad and I would very much like to meet you.