Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Remember...Mr. Is Not the Enemy

I'm having a hard time with this. The man wakes me up every morning, kisses my belly, and proceeds to swab it with alcohol and jab 3 needles into it. (The men.o.pur is by far the worst.) Except this morning, he picked up a shift at a Dr's office he used to work at. So he had to be there at 8 and I had to be at work at 8. Normally, I get to work between 8:15 and 8:30. They know what is going on, so it doesn't matter. No one blinks an eye. Today, though, Mr. bellowed down the hall for me to get up. I had 10 minutes to curl my hair, put makeup on, get dressed, get jabbed, eat breakfast, and get out the door. Needless to say, that didn't happen. I still curled my hair, put makeup on, got dressed and got out the door, but the 10 minute part was definitely omitted from the equation. So was the belly kiss. And I don't know why, but it put me in such a terrible mood.

We were both in the bathroom brushing our teeth and Mr. said (completely calm and rational) "Babe, it really bothers me when you do this." (sleeping in until the last possible second.)

Cue the blow up.

"It really BOTHERS me, that every morning I have to get stabbed with meds that make me icky and out of it all day long. Forgive me for not jumping out of bed ready to greet the day every morning. I have a mental battle with myself every morning because I know that as soon as I wake up, the shots are coming.  So be grateful that I'm awake at all."

Yep. Not my proudest moment. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to separate the shots from the shot-giver. So when I dropped Mr. off at his job this morning I kissed two fingers and put them on Mr.'s lips as our "goodbye kiss." As soon as I drove away I regretted it.

I'm going to be missing him worse than ever today.
I don't think he understood just how important that belly kiss is to me.
I don't think I understood either.

** As far as symptoms go, my ovaries already feel heavy. It's comforting to know that something is actually going on down there. I've had friends that get really sick from the stims, so I'm grateful to not be one of them. I did gag pretty bad at dinner last night. Something about the chicken...I couldn't take another bite of it. Also, as soon as the Folli.stim injection is put into my belly, the headache is pretty much instantaneous. I can only imagine it's going to get worse from here. 5 more days of stims and then it's retrieval time! Can't believe it's coming up this fast!

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