I can't believe everything that is happening. I didn't intend to write another chapter, but I want to shout the news to the world. I am seven weeks along today. We had our first ultrasound to make sure everything was measuring exactly as it should.
There are 2 little hearts beating under my own.
Twins.
Two babies.
Could we be more blessed? I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Mr. took me out to lunch after the ultrasound to celebrate. I sat down at the table to wait for our food and he got us some waters. Across the crowded restaurant he looked at me and gave me the "Let's do this" smile. I was grinning from ear to ear.
Things are definitely changing quick around here. Two babies changes everything. My heart is about to burst. Car shopping, moving in December instead of May, figuring out finances, buying two of everything, thinking of fun ways to spend the next 3 weeks while keeping our two little secrets under wraps, etc.
I truly can't believe it.
I love you little baby a and little baby b. You are just perfect.
Showing posts with label miracles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miracles. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
This is It! - Mr.'s thoughts
This is it! Tomorrow is the big day. I feel like we have said that every night before each IUI, doctor's visit, the egg retrieval, and embryo transfer. Mrs. asked me to write about how I am feeling tonight - the night before we find out if we are pregnant from IVF. I am grateful she didn't request I minimize my feelings to one word because that would be impossible.
First, I am more confident than I have ever been throughout our struggle with infertility. For me, the scariest part was finding out if any eggs were fertilized. I was ecstatic when the doctor informed us that eggs had successfully fertilized. I was so relieved to learn that our baby making parts like each other, that my sperm are not as useless as I have been told, and that us creating life is even possible. So regardless of what news we hear tomorrow I am grateful to know that this process can and will happen again in the future.
I am excited. So many things have fallen into place throughout this process it just doesn't make sense for it not to work. The Lord has blessed us with more tender mercies than I could have ever imagined. Miracles occurred throughout this process and I feel so sure that the Lord is with us. Of course, this also causes me to doubt at times too. With how amazing this process has been, looking back on all the blessings we have received, I am not sure what I would think if this were NOT to work. But I am confident we will know what to do next.
I am scared for the possibility of pain. I can't deny that. However, I am much more hopeful and excited to find out if we are going to have a baby. I feel closer than we have ever been. I trust that we have done everything that we are able to do at this time. I know the doctor we have been working with is competent and gifted and is an instrument in the Lord's hand. As out of control as our lives have been the past seven weeks, I know the Lord has directed us every single day. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to making Mrs. a mom. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to being a dad. And we will be one step closer to growing our family however the Lord wants us to. I am going to sleep good tonight!
First, I am more confident than I have ever been throughout our struggle with infertility. For me, the scariest part was finding out if any eggs were fertilized. I was ecstatic when the doctor informed us that eggs had successfully fertilized. I was so relieved to learn that our baby making parts like each other, that my sperm are not as useless as I have been told, and that us creating life is even possible. So regardless of what news we hear tomorrow I am grateful to know that this process can and will happen again in the future.
I am excited. So many things have fallen into place throughout this process it just doesn't make sense for it not to work. The Lord has blessed us with more tender mercies than I could have ever imagined. Miracles occurred throughout this process and I feel so sure that the Lord is with us. Of course, this also causes me to doubt at times too. With how amazing this process has been, looking back on all the blessings we have received, I am not sure what I would think if this were NOT to work. But I am confident we will know what to do next.
I am scared for the possibility of pain. I can't deny that. However, I am much more hopeful and excited to find out if we are going to have a baby. I feel closer than we have ever been. I trust that we have done everything that we are able to do at this time. I know the doctor we have been working with is competent and gifted and is an instrument in the Lord's hand. As out of control as our lives have been the past seven weeks, I know the Lord has directed us every single day. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to making Mrs. a mom. Tomorrow I will be one step closer to being a dad. And we will be one step closer to growing our family however the Lord wants us to. I am going to sleep good tonight!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Faith Precedes the Miracle
I am blown away today. We had an appointment this morning at 8. It takes us about 15 minutes to get to the clinic, so we set the alarm for 7 and went to bed. No one heard the alarm at 7. It was 7:25 and both of us were just waiting for the alarm to go off, so we didn't move and just enjoyed waking up slowly...until Mr. saw what time it actually was. That started a mild panic.
Mr. had to collect the backup sample for the IVF cycle before we left and wouldn't you know it, he was done in 7 minutes! That is a HUGE deal! Normally 45 minutes go by and guilt and sadness reign. Not this time.
He walked into the bathroom where I was getting ready for the day with the most macho swagger I've ever seen on him. I loved it. He looked at me and said "I'm ready to go when you are!" I finished curling my hair and out the door we went.
At the clinic, we did a quick ultrasound (my baseline) to make sure my lining had thinned how it was supposed to and that my ovaries were calm. (they were.) We went into another room and got instruction on the new injections that arrived at our house this week. I am so grateful to know that those massive needles that came with the injections aren't for poking me with!
We took notes and asked questions, held hands and walked to the front of the clinic. I left to use the bathroom while Mr. checked out. I came to the desk and he had our regular checking account debit card out to pay with. I wasn't sure what he was paying for. I just assumed that it was a consultation fee or something and said he should use the medical account. He agreed and continued to pay. He said "There should be about $3,000 left on this card." (We had used the other $2,000 for the meds that are now camping out in the produce drawer of our fridge.) HE WAS PAYING FOR THE ENTIRE IVF CYCLE!! With the medical account, the $1,000 gift we received a couple of weeks ago, and the 50% off we got from our amazing doctor for attending a fundraiser, we didn't pay a single extra dime.
We are blessed. We are so very blessed. It is humbling.
We walked out of that office and realized that we paid cash for every single bit of our IVF cycle, and we still have money in the bank! I am amazed at how we have been provided for. Faith, prayer, obedience works. We are so grateful for the plan our Heavenly Father has for us. I am in awe of His hand in our life.
We stopped at Mimi's cafe for breakfast before Mr. dropped me off at work. I'm having a hard time focusing. Stims start tomorrow! I can't believe we're already here! My Egg Retreival could be less than 2 weeks away!
I've started to get excited about actually being a mom. I find myself constantly wrestling with whether or not I can be confident and hopeful or if I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak. The phrase that keeps resonating in my mind, though, is "Faith Precedes the Miracle." I have to have faith. I have to believe this will work. My baby deserves it. My babies deserve it. I will be faithful. I can't help but feel like they are looking down at all we are doing to get them here and they are grateful and cheering us on as loud as they can.
Faith Precedes the Miracle.
I gotta have faith.
Mr. had to collect the backup sample for the IVF cycle before we left and wouldn't you know it, he was done in 7 minutes! That is a HUGE deal! Normally 45 minutes go by and guilt and sadness reign. Not this time.
He walked into the bathroom where I was getting ready for the day with the most macho swagger I've ever seen on him. I loved it. He looked at me and said "I'm ready to go when you are!" I finished curling my hair and out the door we went.
At the clinic, we did a quick ultrasound (my baseline) to make sure my lining had thinned how it was supposed to and that my ovaries were calm. (they were.) We went into another room and got instruction on the new injections that arrived at our house this week. I am so grateful to know that those massive needles that came with the injections aren't for poking me with!
We took notes and asked questions, held hands and walked to the front of the clinic. I left to use the bathroom while Mr. checked out. I came to the desk and he had our regular checking account debit card out to pay with. I wasn't sure what he was paying for. I just assumed that it was a consultation fee or something and said he should use the medical account. He agreed and continued to pay. He said "There should be about $3,000 left on this card." (We had used the other $2,000 for the meds that are now camping out in the produce drawer of our fridge.) HE WAS PAYING FOR THE ENTIRE IVF CYCLE!! With the medical account, the $1,000 gift we received a couple of weeks ago, and the 50% off we got from our amazing doctor for attending a fundraiser, we didn't pay a single extra dime.
We are blessed. We are so very blessed. It is humbling.
We walked out of that office and realized that we paid cash for every single bit of our IVF cycle, and we still have money in the bank! I am amazed at how we have been provided for. Faith, prayer, obedience works. We are so grateful for the plan our Heavenly Father has for us. I am in awe of His hand in our life.
We stopped at Mimi's cafe for breakfast before Mr. dropped me off at work. I'm having a hard time focusing. Stims start tomorrow! I can't believe we're already here! My Egg Retreival could be less than 2 weeks away!
I've started to get excited about actually being a mom. I find myself constantly wrestling with whether or not I can be confident and hopeful or if I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak. The phrase that keeps resonating in my mind, though, is "Faith Precedes the Miracle." I have to have faith. I have to believe this will work. My baby deserves it. My babies deserve it. I will be faithful. I can't help but feel like they are looking down at all we are doing to get them here and they are grateful and cheering us on as loud as they can.
Faith Precedes the Miracle.
I gotta have faith.
Monday, June 13, 2011
When it Rains it Pours
I mentioned in this post how miracles happened to allow us to move forward with IVF so much sooner than we had originally planned. It seemed like everything had just come together at the right time for us. We were humbled, grateful, and shocked. And we remembered that God has a plan for our little family.
We let the dust settle after all the excitement and were able to look back and see even more little details that showed us that God is watching over us.
And then a big detail happened.
Yesterday, we received an envelope with no marks on the outside. Inside was a folded up piece of white printer paper, a post-it note, and $1,000 cash.
The note said: "Hope this helps you reach your goal. We are thinking of you and praying for you. And we know God is mindful of you."
I cried.
And said "Oh my word" over and over again.
This must be a really, really special baby that's coming to our little family!
We let the dust settle after all the excitement and were able to look back and see even more little details that showed us that God is watching over us.
And then a big detail happened.
Yesterday, we received an envelope with no marks on the outside. Inside was a folded up piece of white printer paper, a post-it note, and $1,000 cash.
The note said: "Hope this helps you reach your goal. We are thinking of you and praying for you. And we know God is mindful of you."
I cried.
And said "Oh my word" over and over again.
This must be a really, really special baby that's coming to our little family!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Low-Down
I don't really know where to start. We were originally planning on meeting with our Dr. on May 27th to start our IVF cycle, but so many things happened and that appointment was cancelled.
Our IUI #3 was cancelled on a Thursday. Friday, we found out about a tax-free medical account available through my work, so we maxed out what we could put in there knowing we'd need every penny for IVF. Saturday, we went to a fundraiser for some friends of ours, who are also trying to save up for this expensive treatment. And that's when everything changed.
Our friends bounded up to us and asked how our IUI had gone. We explained that the Dr. had cancelled it and recommended us for IVF. And they stopped the conversation right there and said, you need to talk to her and pointed to a girl only a few years older than me with thick wavy hair and big blue eyes. Turns out, she was the fundraiser coordinator. She had received an e-mail from a fertility doctor in a clinic right next to our home who was offering anyone participating in the fundraiser 50% off of an IVF cycle.
Our jaws dropped. We waited patiently for the details. Because our regular doctor was going out of town for the summer, we were going to have to change doctors anyway. We planned to just go to another doctor at the same clinic, but our regular clinic is about 45 minutes away from our home. This new clinic is less than 20. This doctor has incredibly impressive success rates over the past 5 years. He has started clinics in Nevada and Idaho and now here in our home town. He is among the top 6 REs in the nation. We are so blessed!
Our consultation with him is this afternoon and I am completely freaking out. I have had 3 meltdowns already without any medications or hormones pulsing through me at all. I am terrified, excited, nervous, anxious, and so grateful.
I feel so strongly that this man is going to help us become parents. He is going to give us the greatest gift we could ever ask for. I can't wait to meet with him, yet at the same time, that nagging little fear in the back of my mind keeps asking "what if this doesn't work? what then?"
The bigger part of me, though, keeps asking "What if this works?! What if it does!?"
Hopefully, this afternoon, we'll have a timeline and more info and a plan! I'll keep you posted.
Our IUI #3 was cancelled on a Thursday. Friday, we found out about a tax-free medical account available through my work, so we maxed out what we could put in there knowing we'd need every penny for IVF. Saturday, we went to a fundraiser for some friends of ours, who are also trying to save up for this expensive treatment. And that's when everything changed.
Our friends bounded up to us and asked how our IUI had gone. We explained that the Dr. had cancelled it and recommended us for IVF. And they stopped the conversation right there and said, you need to talk to her and pointed to a girl only a few years older than me with thick wavy hair and big blue eyes. Turns out, she was the fundraiser coordinator. She had received an e-mail from a fertility doctor in a clinic right next to our home who was offering anyone participating in the fundraiser 50% off of an IVF cycle.
Our jaws dropped. We waited patiently for the details. Because our regular doctor was going out of town for the summer, we were going to have to change doctors anyway. We planned to just go to another doctor at the same clinic, but our regular clinic is about 45 minutes away from our home. This new clinic is less than 20. This doctor has incredibly impressive success rates over the past 5 years. He has started clinics in Nevada and Idaho and now here in our home town. He is among the top 6 REs in the nation. We are so blessed!
Our consultation with him is this afternoon and I am completely freaking out. I have had 3 meltdowns already without any medications or hormones pulsing through me at all. I am terrified, excited, nervous, anxious, and so grateful.
I feel so strongly that this man is going to help us become parents. He is going to give us the greatest gift we could ever ask for. I can't wait to meet with him, yet at the same time, that nagging little fear in the back of my mind keeps asking "what if this doesn't work? what then?"
The bigger part of me, though, keeps asking "What if this works?! What if it does!?"
Hopefully, this afternoon, we'll have a timeline and more info and a plan! I'll keep you posted.
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